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A few additional points about dealing with difficult people:
"What key points, as you leave, do you want to be sure to remember
and use?" Two comments from workshop participants:
1. "Integrity."
2. "[I want to be sure to use] those Win-Win Negotiation
points."
Comments from Bruce:
1. Difficult people are not
the problem. The problem starts if I ignore the others.
When difficult people show up, how do I deal with them sincerely,
yet not give away all the attention that the others -- and the
issues of many others -- also deserve?
2. Don't get hooked.
Those who sabotage often have more energy for that than I do.
Whether I get charged up or demoralized by battles, the battles must
not become the main point. I need to build the major energy
for the non-confrontational, maybe tedious, work of real progress.
3. Be open to success. A
good outcome is rarely world-changing, rarely immediate, and rarely
the same as your original plan. A
reasonable goal may be that 1) no one is permanently scarred and 2)
we each achieve something we want. This is a crucial starting
point for many of the methods for dealing with difficult people.
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